Licey Gail

Heather: You didn’t. 😫

Claudia: Technically I didn’t. My daughter did. I just saw the RID in Gail’s purse, took the pic and Sheila sent it from my phone.

Heather: You/She/Whoever caused mass hysteria. 🤯😱😲

Claudia: I wouldn’t say mass. And, in my/our defense, I wasn’t sure RID was for lice 🕷 (I know that’s a spider – I’m not stupid, but there’s no lice emoji). THAT’S why I was taking the pic – to text Pierce to see if he knew for sure. If he confirmed, I was going to say something. You can’t work backstage with LICE and expect to get away with it, especially when you’re working in HAIR and MAKEUP. 💇🏼‍♀️💄 Sheila got a hold of it before I knew what was happening. She’s in trouble. We’re taking her phone away for 2 hours a day

Heather: Huh

Claudia: Huh is all you have to say? Really we should all thank her. Backstage is safer now because of it. It starts with the volunteer moms. 👯‍♀️ Would you want lice running rampant among our performers? Heaven forbid one of them passes it along to the judges. 👩🏼‍⚖️👨🏼‍⚖️

Heather: They wouldn’t have gotten close to those judges.

Claudia: You never know. Those Musical Theater Awards 🎬🎤👩🏻‍⚖️ judges are tricky! They might pull a performer aside to ask them a question about who really choreographed 🕺the numbers, and then BOOM! Lice. 🐜 (Does an ant look more like lice? I really have no idea) But we lose Best Musical 🎼🥇🏆 thanks to GAIL!!

Heather: She said it was for her son 👩‍👦

Claudia: Whatever. I bet it was her. Licey Gail is her new name. Her hair was all nice and shiny Saturday at rehearsal. I guarantee you it was from washing her hair over and over. And she wore it down, which she never does

Heather: Probably to cover any evidence 🕵🏼‍♀️🔦

Claudia: Exactly! I did the show a favor. Russet should thank me. He doesn’t want to jeopardize Best Director 🎬

Heather: Yes, you did the right thing. You might have saved us from losing Best Musical 🎼🏆

Claudia: Thank you. I’m glad someone can see reason. Changing subjects. Did you see how Linda styled Sheila’s hair? 👱🏼‍♀️It was horrible! As a pro💈, she should know better. It would look so cute in ringlets but she says she doesn’t have time. And of course, I told Sheila not to go anywhere NEAR Gail. Apparently all the kids were lined up for Linda bc no one wanted to go near Licey Gail. Who can blame them? 🤔

Heather: Wait, how hard can ringlets be? It’s just a bunch of curls, right?

Claudia: Yes, and since this is your first time backstage, you know you can’t say anything about Linda being a professional hair stylist. 🤫It would hurt our chances at Best Hair and Makeup. You know it’s supposed to be student-driven ✍🏼

Heather: Yes, they explained all that at the parent meeting. But they didn’t say anything about hair and makeup. Linda’s only doing the leads

Claudia: CLEARLY as she has “no time” for Sheila. Her daughter’s hair will be darling while my daughter will look like she just got out of the shower.🚿 But, no matter, we are moving onward in our household to Operation: Audition

Heather: What is that???

Claudia: Sheila wants to be a lead next year 🎬, and obviously Sophia is her biggest competitor. And it will be hard as a junior. Auditions are in April so we are buckling down on diet, ballet lessons and voice lessons to make sure she gets a lead 🥦💃🏼🎤

Heather: She’s not overweight 👙

Claudia: No, she’s not, but I certainly wouldn’t put her in a 👙! She looked a little flabby during rehearsal the other day. I am going to put her on atkins 🥓or something. I would do that HCG thing but I think that’s old news

Heather: I imagine she’s too young for HCG

Claudia: Prolly, but it worked for me when I did it. I didn’t have to get lipo after I did that for a while.

Heather: She is so talented. I’m sure she’ll get what she wants!

Claudia: She’s good, yes, but I wouldn’t go so far to say talented, She needs to work on a few things to be a true triple threat, you know, fabulous at acting, dancing and singing. I’m also trying to get her into a summer musical theater camp. They call it pre-college 📚

Heather: You’re busy!

Claudia: Yes, and when they announce which musical they’ll be doing next year, you can be sure I’ll dress her appropriately for the audition. Sophia went as a cheerleader to the auditions and got the part over Sheila

Heather: Pre-college doesn’t sound fun

Claudia: I know, but if she wants to be on Broadway 🏙, it’s the only way. Start ‘em young! Gotta run. Pierce is taking me to my favorite Italian place – the chicken alfredo is to die for

Heather: Bye